Tempted to Cheat on Your Realtor?

In my business I often find myself alone with strange men—in bedrooms. If that sounds sexy, creepy, or vaguely alarming, relax. I’m alone with strange men in bedrooms because I'm a Realtor.

A while back I showed a charming single buyer through one of my listings. His own agent couldn't make it because she was showing one of her listings, so I handled the showing myself. Let's call him John. Before I’d unlocked the door, we shared what could only be described as a meet-cute moment.

I was digging through my handbag for the keys at the top of the front steps when I heard him call hello. I turned to greet him just in time to watch him trip on the very first stair. His sunglasses flew through the air. I lunged to catch them. Instead, my phone bounced down the terrazzo steps and smacked him squarely on the head.

We both stood there red-faced and laughing before we'd even exchanged names. (Maybe you had to be there to appreciate how funny that was.) The rest of the showing was easy. We chatted our way through the house, laughing and talking as though we'd known each other for years.

"What a delightful client," I caught myself thinking. Then I immediately scolded myself. “He's not your client, Cynthia! And you have no business cheating on his agent!”

As though he'd read my mind, John asked, "What's so wrong with having more than one agent? My agent wants me to work with her exclusively. But I'd really like to work with you, too.”

Cue a wistful sigh. You see, in San Francisco at least, working with multiple buyer's agents is a little like dating two people in a small town. Everyone eventually finds out, nobody benefits and everybody is unhappy.

Residential real estate here is surprisingly intimate. Buyers, sellers and properties come and go, but our Realtor colleagues stick around for decades. Add to this a continual dearth of inventory and it doesn't take long before Agent Anna discovers you've also been touring houses with Agent Beatrice. Now, neither Anna nor Beatrice want to have anything to do with you, and they'll likely tell their clients to watch out for you. (And I don't mean "watch out for you" in a good way.)

The reality is that the best buyer's agents don't simply unlock doors. They spend hours learning what matters to you, studying inventory before it comes on the market, reviewing disclosures, talking strategy, coordinating inspections, advising on pricing, calming nerves, writing offers, negotiating terms, and helping you avoid costly mistakes.

Most of that work happens long before there's any paycheck. Which is why today's buyer representation agreement isn't simply a legal document. It's the foundation of a working relationship.

Ever since the 2024 National Association of Realtors settlement, you've probably heard people say things like, "You don't really need a buyer's agent anymore," or "Just call the listing agent." In San Francisco, the opposite is true. Buyers need thoughtful representation now, more than ever, with demand so high and inventory at record lows. It’s a brutal market for buyers and you need a strong agent who’s ready to fight for you in your corner.

You’ll almost certainly be asked to sign a buyer representation agreement before that agent will begin working for you. That shouldn't be viewed as a burden. It should be viewed as an invitation.

You're asking someone to invest dozens—sometimes hundreds—of hours helping you make one of the largest financial decisions of your life. In return, they're asking for the opportunity to earn your trust and represent you wholeheartedly without having to doubt your loyalty. The commitment goes both ways.

So if you find an agent who listens carefully, tells you the truth (even when it's inconvenient), understands your goals, and makes you feel genuinely cared for, don't keep shopping for agents. Make a commitment, pay attention to your buyer-agent relationship, start looking for property. (But don't be looking at other agents while you're at it!)

Photo by Ashkan Forouzani on Unsplash