Real Estate Humor: Home Flippers Rejoice!

Real Estate Humor: Home Flippers Rejoice!

Writings about residential real estate and all things home, by Cynthia Cummins of Kindred SF Homes.

Reading time: 2 minutes

You wanted a challenge, right? It’s not every day you can find a project as intimidating as 123 Dismal Avenue. The bones of this 2-story home are so well disguised with clutter and neglect that you’d barely know there’s a house underneath!

The only way to appreciate 123 Dismal Avenue’s appeal is to visit in person. After you sign our liability waiver and don your respirator, hardhat and gloves, you can enjoy this rare home’s many features:

• Stained and cat-urine-soaked carpeting in living and dining rooms
• Significant water stains throughout
• Mantelpiece severely damaged by a 1953 fire
• Peeling wallpaper circa 1949 in dining room and bedrooms
• Rotting windowsills and broken window glass
• Unhinged rear door that opens directly onto a broken-down balcony
• Open sewage leak in basement
• Defunct heating system, with asbestos wrapped ducts
• Overgrown garden filled with thriving blackberries
• Foundation’s condition undetermined
• Knob-and-tube wiring and fuse boxes
• Age of roof unknown
• No building permits on record, including original construction
• Too many flaws to list in detail!

Run don’t walk to see this dilapidated dream home. With literally nothing worth saving, it offers the ultimate opportunity to buyers who have imagination, a dependable contractor and loads of cash, especially since there’s no way any bank, hard-money lender or wealthy family friend is going to give you financing.